"Fat to Fittie"

It’s almost impossible to be the first to do something, you imagine you’re genius idea for a brand or name has never been used by anyone else, but thanks to google, you discover in seconds you were beaten to it. Sometimes though even Google doesn’t find it immediately, or perhaps it does and hides away the result, until after you’ve told everyone how clever you are, then up it pop’s to rub in the fact someone thought of it before you. That’s just happened to me, after I set up a Facebook page for “Fat to Fittie”. I googled it straight after to check that people would find it and the only result that came up was “Fatty to Fitty”. Yes I know it’s not the same and my version is definitely better, but that’s not the point, why didn’t it show me when I was checking no one was using it before and more importantly, why isn’t mine mentioned??

Something similar also occurred recently, for years I’ve been eating two breakfasts, not sure when I started but it became a bit of a habit. Then one day, my son called me a hobbit, I asked him why and he said because that’s what they do. I was shocked at this, not because he thought I’d nicked the idea from Tolkein, but because I had no memory of it, despite the fact that in 2003, both my son’s had forced me to watch the three Lord of the rings films back to back. I’d like to add they were the extended versions, which were eleven and a half hours long, bored shitless doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt at the loss of a complete day from my life. You’d have thought that if I were to remember just one thing, it’d be the second breakfast, but sadly no. So when I thought it would make a good subject for the blog, I googled two breakfasts, expecting to see the word Hobbit come up, but instead I was shown many countries who indulge in this practise and have done since anyone can remember, gutted, another idea I can’t claim.

There were many debates on whether it’s good for weight loss or not, which was going to be my claim and reason for writing, so this piece has sort of taken a different turn. It’s my belief though that it does help, as long as your two breakfasts aren’t a full English with 3 slices of toast, followed by croissants and marmalade. I’d also just like to point out that I don’t eat them immediately one after the other, the first, about 30 mins after waking is either porridge or cereal and the second, I have about 10am is something like boiled eggs or toast, I try to avoid the bacon butty until the weekend. The idea behind it is that you’re not as hungry when it comes to lunch, though I’m hardly a good advert for the practise of two breakfasts at the minute, maybe I should take up some more Hobbit habits. With this in mind, I turned to the great Google god again and it gave me a list of their characteristics. 1. No beard (tick) 2. fat (big tick) 3. Wear bright colours (guess that’s another tick) 4. No shoes (massive tick) 5. Hairy feet (no comment) 6. Deep laugh (another tick) 7. Long brown fingers (hhhmmm, certainly long) 8. Good-natured face (absolutely) 9. Eat a lot (definitely) 10. Move quickly and quietly (Bollocks, 8 and a half points does not a hobbit make).