"Fat to Fittie"

I’ve made no secret that I go to Slimming world, they get the credit for helping me lose five stone, which I did just before March 2020 and was at the target I’m heading for now. Like everyone during lockdown, I gained weight, there’s a future blog waiting to be written, entitled “Crap I put in my mouth during covid” though you’ll be surprised to learn banana bread’s not on the list. Not looking for excuses, but the lack of exercise didn’t help, all I could really do before was swim and despite having a 3×2 metre paddling pool in the garden, it just wasn’t enough. When the pools did eventually open I couldn’t go because the pain from the hernia stopped it and I had to wait until after the op. That’s what’s brought me here, finally back fit again (apart from the knackered hips) but able to swim and given 12 months by the doctor, to get four stone off so I can have the operations. Looking on the positive side, it’s one stone less than before, but that did take me six months longer.

Having done fat club in the past, I wasn’t going to bother this time, but after a month, I’d hardly lost anything and knew I needed some motivation. It’s the pressure of the weigh-in every week that does it, not like jumping on your own scales at home, joining the queue waiting your turn, is like being a spy during WWII. The anxiety as you watch the Gestapo boarding the train, knowing they’re going to scrutinise your dodgy forged papers and shitty French accent, it’s a wonder there aren’t more medical drama’s while waiting for the scales. It’s not because everyone’s watching and you’ll be embarrassed if you gained, it’s the thought that you wasted a whole week and now have to go through it all again to not only lose what you gained, but also the bit you were hoping to lose in the first place. It’s tempting if you have a bad week to say frig it, it’s also tempting if you have a good week to say frig it, I think the key is to pick your weigh in day, for me it’s Friday morning, I can’t think of a better time, gives me the weekend to indulge a bit and as long as I behave for the next four days, I usually lose.

Only once have I actually stripped off on the scales, weighed in half a pound short, so the shirt was definitely coming off, thank god it worked cos my boxers weren’t the best that morning, the sort you don’t want to be wearing if you get knocked over. You’d think Slimming World would have addressed or even undressed this problem by now and have some sort of screen set up, especially for the ladies. It can be a five minute wait in winter for the discarding of boots, scarf, hat, coat, jumper, shirt, I’ve even witnessed trousers coming off, to reveal a thinner pair underneath, nothing is left to chance at the weekly weigh-in where nothing is off limits to hit that target. I would love to tell you more about what happens in group, but you know the first rule, you do not talk about Fat club, especially with your mouth full of cake.