"Fat to Fittie"

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was writing my bucket list, maybe I should have bought a book with less pages as I need 101 and have only just added number 16. Like some of the previous editions, my wish is something that many take for granted and I should have done before my hips packed in. I’m sure you’ve seen the classic film Pulp Fiction and the scene where John Travolta dances with Uma Thurman. Putting aside it’s one of the sexiest dance’s if you watch Uma and one of the funniest if you watch John, something just worked and I’ve always wanted to perform it. Forget that I can’t even walk without using a stick, there’s something else that’s stopping me and no it’s not because I don’t have anyone to be Uma, in short, I can’t friggin dance.

I know a lot of people say that, but I really can’t, so I’m guessing lessons may be needed, which seems a bit pointless if no ones going to see it, why go to all that bother just for something to tick off my list. That got me thinking, what am I actually going to do when I eventually have my hips sorted and learn it. Do I just record it and make some shitty tik tok or is there more purpose to my twist, yes that’s what the dance is. There has to be some outcome of me achieving this goal other than just doing it, maybe a charity marathon, not that I’m going for any records but surely it needs to be a few hours. I’m no stranger to something like this as I once played tennis for 18 hours against 18 different opponents, I was a bit knackered at the end and of course was much younger and fitter.

So there’s my idea, something to aim for when I get my hips sorted, apart from an Uma, I’ll also need a black suit and long black wig, got to look the part. Perhaps though I might not find an Uma daft enough to dance with me for however many hours I decide so like the tennis I’ll need several different ones. There’s another problem with doing it as a marathon, it absolutely has to be the original music I dance to, Chuck Berry and “You never can tell”, fantastic song and I love it, but at a run time of 2 minutes 43 seconds, that means I’m going to hear it 24 times in an hour, not sure my ears could take it. Perhaps my danceathon isn’t a great idea after all, so tik tok vid it is, at least it’ll give everyone who sees it a laugh, who cares if they might be laughing at me rather than with. My dad used to have a great saying, “If you can’t stand being laughed at, don’t join”, He also had another, much shorter saying when something crap happened, “That’s life” !