"Fat to Fittie"

If you drive, then it’s an absolute fact that at some point you’ll receive a parking ticket, usually stuck to your windscreen by a smug, cocky git in a uniform resembling the gestapo. Now I realise that dodgy illegal parking can be a problem and councils rely heavily on revenue generated by the fines, but as every motorist knows, the majority of the wardens handing out the tickets, enjoy their job a little too much.

I recently visited the beautiful seaside town of Blyth with my son, rather aptly to experience a world war two re-enactment. I’d never been before and as stunning as it looked, the 2 hr journey had taken it’s toll on my legs. As we drove into the car park, it looked very full and I was struggling to find a space, my son, desperate for the toilet, asked to get out while I found a space to park. I’d noticed that there was no charge, which obviously was a bonus, but there was also a distinct lack of disabled spaces. For me, it’s not just an issue with not being able to walk far, but also the fact that I need to open the door fully, otherwise I can’t get in or out, my legs simply don’t allow it. I saw a space that had clearly once been used, but now had yellow lines painted on it, there was no choice, I’d seen other cars with Blue badges in the windows parked similar and as the badge allows you to park on double yellow lines, didn’t think it was a problem.

It didn’t take long though before I was approached by an Oberst-Grubbenfuhrer who wasn’t part of the re-enactment, but instead worked for Blyth council. He told me I couldn’t park there and in turn, I tried to explain my situation. I couldn’t see why it was a problem, especially as the whole car park had no charge, he told me I should go to the next area which was a fifteen minute walk away and despite me explaining this wasn’t an option, he took no notice at all. There’s no point in wasting precious time debating with anyone who does this job, they have only one intention and that’s to give themselves pleasure by slapping a ticket on your car. On returning a couple of hours later, I thought he’d taken my explanation well and decided to leave it, as there was no ticket on the windscreen, unfortunately two weeks later I received the invoice from Blyth council.

Of course I appealed and explained the situation, also the fact that there was no ticket actually placed there. Clearly though like their employee, there is no common sense or human sympathy and understanding, just a need to grab whatever money they can. Their reply actually constitutes discrimination against someone with a disability, it also doesn’t answer why many cars parked on the grass (where I offered to move) weren’t ticketed, basically, it’s all bollocks. You may notice that I said I received an invoice from them, because that’s what it actually is, an invitation to pay. Basically a PCN (parking charge notice) relies upon the recipient feeling scared, bullied and intimidated, another similarity with Himmler’s secret police. It doesn’t have the same enforcement as a FPN (Fixed penalty notice). These are usually enforced by council’s and involve the magistrates court, where as if you choose not to pay a PCN, the company have to take you to a civil court, which costs them money and mostly decide not to do, even then, if you’re found guily, still wouldn’t be pressured to pay. In a nutshell the gestapo at Blyth council have more chance of getting money out of me, as I do of coming home tonight and finding Jodie Whittaker defrosting my fridge.