"Fat to Fittie"

I’ve mentioned before that I have a regular massage and how important it is to helping me retain my mobility, after a while my legs seize up and the nerves trapped around my hips, cause even more pain than normal, so I try to have one about 6-8 weeks apart. Everyone I meet who has a mobility problem is given the same advice, find the money to get a massage, because you won’t believe the benefits, I’m lucky to have a great girl, who now comes to my house and has the unenviable task of spending 90 minutes rubbing my fat naked body. Let’s be honest, it’s not the best job, but like the carer’s in an old people’s home who spend hours wiping arses, it’s not great, but a huge benefit to the recipient, in this case, me.

As well as writing a blog, I also try to document my weight loss journey on Tik Tok and like here, I sometimes veer off the main subject of well-being and fitness. Just recently I thought that I should maybe try and show a bit more of what I do as part of my life routine, covering not only the health issues, but also my disability and what I do to combat it. With this in mind I thought it would be a good idea to film some of my massage and perhaps explain what my problems are and how it helps. I looked at a few videos to see what you could get away with in terms of showing too much flesh and was surprised to see some full nude videos, showing the massaging of some ladies bottoms. I hadn’t thought this was allowed and so decided to test the water using the picture from my “It’s for charity” blog. I didn’t show it in it’s entirety and covered my bare arse with a sticker, I was mortified to be given a violation and warning, why? you couldn’t see anything, not like the women having their naked cheeks rubbed by a Russian bodybuilder.

I decided that in order to not piss off two tier Tik Tok, I’d just show the massage lying on my back, having my legs rubbed, after all I’m covered by a towel so that shouldn’t be a problem, how wrong I was. If you’re familiar with the platform, you’ll know that 6 views is not good, well that’s exactly what I got, I tried to promote it but was told I couldn’t as it contained nudity, “no it flipping doesn’t” I argued, but they took no notice so I deleted it. I mentioned my problem to a friend who suggested I re-post and promote through an outside company, didn’t I realise you could, I took his advice and spent the huge sum of £1.29, which gained me over a thousand views. Unfortunately one of these was my daughter, who called me to voice her displeasure, saying you could see everything and I’d embarrassed her. I asked her, by everything did she mean my leg, cos that’s all that’s on view, a lot of the massage concentrate’s on the groin, because that’s where the pain mostly is, I explained that I was trying to inform people and show that by having the treatment, it’s possible to ease it.

Just as she seemed to be appeased, I awoke this morning with a message from one of my sons asking if I’d got a happy ending? I told him if that means being able to walk a bit better, then yes I had, wish I had a quid for every time someone asks me this when I mention having a massage, I’d have enough to buy a smallholding in Cornwall. What is the problem with everyone thinking there’s something seedy and immoral in having someone run their hands across your naked body? Okay, when put like that it doesn’t sound good, but my message is this, grow up, stop associating this much needed service for people in pain, with the one offered by girls in short skirts, who advertise a massage that includes the words “stress relief”, believe me I know those two words are the difference. This is because I was very surprised a few years ago when I booked one, expecting to have a nice relaxing experience, though I wasn’t as surprised as the girlfriend who’d come along to watch, in the hope of picking up tips to become a masseuse. She’s not looked at a plastic bottle the same way since.