"Fat to Fittie"

No matter how much exercise you get, you won’t lose weight by this alone, watching what you put in your mouth is the only true way to drop the pounds. The word diet is probably the most googled in January, with so many people opting to go on one, but what they should really be looking for is “Healthy lifestyle”. A quick short fix diet is not the answer to keeping the weight off full time and lets be honest, everyone knows someone who swears by one weight loss eating plan and completely disses all the rest. Maybe that’s a topic for the future because what I want to talk about today is healthy cooking and eating, I have to credit Slimming world with helping me understand more about food, even though I’ve always been someone who ate pretty well, doing things like cutting off the fat from meats and grilling or frying with one Cal spray. If you didn’t know what this is, basically instead of splashing loads of vegetable oil in the pan to fry your bacon, you just spray a couple of squirts , which combined with a good non stick utensil, ensures that you can cook it healthily and won’t be dripping in fat that needs draining with 3 sheets of kitchen paper, you can even do fried eggs this way, try it, you’ll be surprised. A word of warning though, it’s best not to think about the Slimming World slogan they use to promote the use of one Cal spray, which is, “Squirt till it hurts”, likely to put you off your lettuce.

Whilst that might not be their best advice, they have been responsible though for changing many ways I look at food. I do love cooking and am often happy spending a couple of hours in the kitchen knocking something up, but since discovering how much sugar there is in one jar of sauce, I’ve never bought one since. I’m talking about things like curry and bolognaise, available from the well known brands, take my advice, if you have any in your cupboard, go and throw them in the bin now. All you need instead is a few tins of chopped tomatoes, some puree and a good selection of herbs and spices, If you haven’t yet mad a resolution, make it this, do not ever again, buy a jar of ready made sauce, I promise you can make it with no sugar and far tastier. Whatever you’re cooking should only take about 30 mins to prepare and then get it in the pan, bit extra water and cover and simmer for at least an hour, before taking the lid off and letting it reduce for 30 mins. There is absolutely no excuse for not having enough time, it’s 30 mins of your time, make up a huge pan load, then freeze in separate containers and you’ll always have something in, ready to take out and add the meat, it’s a game changer, you can thank me later.

It’s the small things we implement that make the difference, buy proper butter, none of that spreadable marge shit and use a butter dish, then don’t put it on a sandwich unless it’s a bacon or chip butty in white bread, (some things can never be messed with). I genuinely only spread it on something I’ve toasted, I don’t even use it on jacket tati’s anymore. I know what your thinking, if you eat so well, how come you’re a fat bastard, well that’s because I drink, but that’s not what this blog is about. There’s so many things I learned from going to fat club, only drink diet versions of anything, never, ever have full fat coke, zero tastes exactly the same. When it comes to takeaways, it’s still possible to eat some thing’s but the one that must be avoided at all costs is pizza, you have no idea how bad this is for you, much better to make your own at home and if you want another shock, donna kebab isn’t that bad, okay every now and again and no pitta bread, just salad. You’d think some of the advice is obvious, but by making a few small changes, it can make a massive difference.

Cutting out the thing’s that make us gain weight, is the biggest step you can take, you know what it is, you don’t need it spelling out. Crisps is one thing for me, but I usually only have them when drinking, so by cutting out the alcohol a few days a week, will help sort that problem. As I talk about many times, my nemesis is the sausage roll, if I’m ever going to lose the pounds, this has to be cut out, if even just for a few months. The only chance of success is to have some inspiration, so I thought the best thing I could do was announce it to as many people as I could, the more that know the better, then I have less chance of breaking. First though I needed to have a final one, I was due to spend a day with a friend and as there was a corned beef pasty planned for lunch, we both thought this might seem a good time to pack them in, obviously I’m giving up pies as well, but the focus is the sausage roll.

It turned out a good plan as he was also wanting to give up eating pastry as well, but I told him that the last thing I needed to eat was a sausage roll, with this in mind we finished the day at a local butchers, I went to get my roll, being hungry I bought two, planning to have the second when home, what I didn’t plan on was his generosity, when he went to the bakers next door to get his “steak pie to die for”, he got me one as well. Now I’m a fussy git and can’t eat a steak pie, with all that gravy cold, so opted to warm it up at home, the problem was, by the time I’d ate it I was full so the sausage roll “last day” got pushed back 24 hrs. Sadly, by the time I got to eat it the next day, I didn’t really enjoy it, just didn’t feel right, my last one should have been fresh, preferably straight from the oven, so I came up with a plan, to go and get one the next day from a local deli where I know they are perfect. So off I went to get a couple, which turned into 3 because my son was calling round, I ate one on the way home and took the others back.

Now what I haven’t told you yet, is I’d made the announcement on my social media that I was going to do this and not only as an incentive, but to also poke fun at myself, I asked for sponsorship of 3p for every day I don’t eat one. It caused a bit of a conversation and in a way ensures there are a few people keeping an eye on me and making sure I don’t break. As I was eating what should have been the last, I realised I should maybe have made a video to further promote and make more of a thing about it being the last, I looked down at the half a sausage roll I had left and thought, shit, I wish I’d thought of it earlier. Coupled with the fact that my son was there and what was left of the roll didn’t look too good, I came up with another plan. The next day I went back to the shop, set up the camera and recorded the final eating of what turned out to be a beautiful, warm, piece of gourmet elegance, the fact that I’d spun it out for three extra days all seemed worth it and I felt vindicated in my decision. So there it is, been a week now, the 20 people who have sponsored me owe 21p, the plan is to give the meagre amount I’m destined to raise, to a charity, you can find all the details on my website where you’re reading this blog on the page “Sausage roll challenge”. If you’d like to add your name to list, I’d be very grateful and don’t worry it’s not going to cost you much more than three quid, I’d like to think the pounds I’m going to lose through by not eating them, add up to a lot more than three, wish me luck.