"Fat to Fittie"

Anyone who’s read my coach tour blog’s will know that I had a bit of a problem with the hotel we stayed at, which was run by a modern incarnation of Basil Fawlty. I’d like to add that it wasn’t just me, but many in the group commented how rude he was, strutting about in his tight white jeans and bleached perm, desperately trying to cling onto his youth. It’s beyond me why someone would want to run a hotel when they clearly have no experience or interest in looking after their guests and who seems to go out of their way to be unpleasant and actually take pleasure in the misery they cause. I’ve sent the hotel a statement of what occurred, which obviously had to be serious, but there’s always time for some humour, so I’ve written a song to the tune of the Bay City Rollers, “Bye Bye Baby”, I hope he likes it.

Bye Bye Baytree

Wasn’t such a good place to stay,

Glad we weren’t there any longer,

Won’t lie I’m glad to be going away,

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Bye bye Baytree, baytree goodbye, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

Bye bye Baytree, what a sad guy, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

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The suit cases you didn’t carry,  

Didn’t carry like you promised gee,

What a git you can be,

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Permed hair made you look a right tit,

Tight white jeans that clearly don’t fit,

Made it easy to see, the stain of pee, so

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Bye bye Baytree, baytree goodbye, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

Bye bye Baytree, why did you lie, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

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A lady wanted heat and you wouldn’t let her,

Said you’re the boss and you know better, see

Made her get down on her knee,

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You put all your guests through the wringer,

From now on they’ll give you the finger,

Cos, thanks to me, your bullshit they’ll see, so

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Bye bye Baytree, baytree goodbye, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

Bye bye Baytree, you didn’t even try, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

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Baytree bye bye, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

Baytree bye bye, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)

Baytree bye bye, (bye Baytree, Baytree bye bye)